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What makes them?
Prince Charming meets his Princess in a fairytale romance writing itself in front of their eyes. On paper, it’s all they’ve both ever wanted.
What breaks them?
Problems getting started often involve Cancer turning too mushy or too distant early on – he chooses either one of the flakey extremes to avoid admitting his mistakes when she challenges him. If they do get it together, the arguments won’t be pretty. We meet a lot of Aries women who’ve sworn off Cancer men for life…
Can it work between Aries Woman and Cancer Man?
We know few Aries and Cancers who can be pursuaded they’re right for each other. If you’re still listening – Cancer Male – you really need to be at a stage in your life (usually at first love stage or a seasoned mid thirties phase will do) where you can put up with what’s needed to keep your Aries lady happy. As with most relationships, timing and luck counts for a lot. Still interested? Read on.
Cancer Males are probably laughing right now as we say the timing of this relationship is key – they live their life knowing timing is essential to everything. Here is the place to believe in that more than ever, and we rarely comes across Cancers or Aries who can be persuaded to openly admit they like one another. The intricacies of Fire and Water can easily douse each other out before this romance gets off the ground.
Cancer Male bides his time in love and career – most people know this – yet few get to witness the steely side underneath the Crab that refuses to compromise these values. He’s also keeping his love of social glamour and prestige a secret (he doesn’t understand why he likes it – but it’s there). Being present at the party opens up a door in his life for Aries Woman to walk into, as a socialite herself.
His “disappearing act” routine leads people to mistake him for a bit of a loser or flake when he’s a young gun making his way in the world, but Cancer Male won’t be deterred from his personal life goals by outside opinion. On the other hand, Aries Woman is prone to let even idle strangers know she is hurt when she feels misunderstood in public and she’s been known to go out of her way to try and win approval where it really shouldn’t matter.
The nay-sayers are just more names filtering through the Cancer Male net on the way to happiness and success. What he hasn’t left room for are his own misconceptions on Aries Woman where he can judge her wrongly based on his own fears and negative emotions.
He’ll never get to see all she’s capable of (and no amount of hot-and-cold clinging will change that) unless he opens up to the chance for plain heart-to-heart talks with her during the relationship’s growth. This goes back to the intricacies of timing – Water is perceptive where Fire is intuitive.
The difference is Fire can sense things that elude most people – but they have to be there in person at the scene of the crime. Water has no such need – they can act off their (often correct) gut feeling from miles away. Because they so often get it right, Water are scarce to admit when their gut feeling has betrayed them or cheated them out of happiness.
You’ll find Aries Woman ringing up Cancer Man for another talk when he’s stunned her with some home truths or comforting insight via text message – he’s secretly hoping she’ll once again make the first move and take the initiative. He’s been waiting for her call. She doesn’t like this role but would do it anyway as long as he keeps surprising her. He awakes emotions she struggles to find by herself but she’ll never admit this to him or anyone.
Why? Fire people pride themselves as warm, but Water people are even more intimate by nature. Fire lacks in sensitivity whereas Water can feel out most things. If Water becomes too good at what they do, this leaves Fire feeling emasculated (funny word to use here but Aries Women are from Mars after all!) and controlled. Between two Cardinal signs, power struggles are inevitable.
Cancer Man will always have the lead in pulling the emotional strings and it seems almost unfair he can get his Aries lady to keep making the first move in communication – but eventually he has to give back. The best way is to openly acknowledge his mistakes towards her – it’s the best show of strong character.
His mistakes come about from being overly-cautious and quick to accuse when feeling confronted or defensive by Aries’ brutal honesty and provocation. He wants a close-knit circle of people he can trust and will do anything to weed out threats. Aries Woman approaches her question of happiness totally differently. So be careful not to weed out Aries Woman as a threat when she’s really trying to be a friend and challenging sparring partner.
But while we’re at it, Aries, you could really tone down the provocative reactions and defensiveness yourself. Just be sure you’re at a stage of maturity where you won’t mock someone for openly asking you for forgiveness or rub their mistake in their faces. Cancer Man is the epitomy of the winner and protector you’ve been hoping for, but Aries Woman can easily talk herself out of a good long-term deal through superficial impulsion.
At a young age, she carelessly wears heart on sleeve and the same social ridicule will (rightly or wrongly) convince her that she has to hide her emotions before she reaches her thirties. In some ways, Cancer is the man who steps into this void when she feels at her lowest but he shouldn’t be the person to keep her there on the ground, with his suspicion or accusations holding them back from growing into the world.
The right time to meet each other either is either as very young adolescents (where differences do not prematurely get in the way) or later in Cancer’s life where he feels settled in all he offers to a relationship. They have a common need for security and attachment, but they want these elements on completely different terms.
Cancer will simply have to learn to keep accepting Aries for who she is, in the same manner he does when they make love. It makes her feel understood. In the bedroom, she sees something loving in his eyes that makes her open up completely. The sex is a stop-start affair that will not plaster over their differences without healthy communication and some common goals.
Even though they have a wonderful ability to worship each other in public (much to Aries’ delight), the truth is Aries values social acceptance whereas Cancer can survive without it. He will indulge her with enough affection, gifts and quality time at the dinner table to make her feel like “The One”.
They will both find happiness in settling down, but Aries would prefer to not see it in those terms. She needs a Cancer who can continue to make her feel like her inner child will never die, or she will leave when the arguments get too serious and repetitive.You've made it this far - now you're ready for your compatibility test at the blog. Take your free compatibility test here (right now only the 'For Her' quiz is live for women - but men, I will have your quiz up in the new year). Tiziani.